Well, now that the doctors in my country don't seem to know what to do with my condition (I don't blame them because it is a rare condition anyway), I was advised to seek consultation from a Professor in a neighbouring country.... it kinda freaks me out... i mean, it's so unreal. Me? Me going to another country to seek help? Is it real? I'm so confused and frustrated.
I dropped an email to the Professor before I even started to make plans to go over for the visit, just so that I dont get the same answer as in "we don't know what to do, really". If that happens, it would be a complete waste of my money and time to even take the trouble to go over. To my surprise, the Professor did respond promptly, asking for my medical reports. And so I emailed the essential ones to him. But then he replied that they too "did not have significant experience on this condition ...but understood enough about what could and needed to be done"... I'm left dumbfounded and dismay.
So, do I go or not now? What if he tells me the same things like what the doctors here told me? I was quite depressed for quite a while after receiving his reply. But my family doctor told me that it would be good to just go once and see what the Prof had to say. He might tell something new and that I might want to consider following up with him. But if he tells the same crap, i can just forget about the whole thing and try to come to terms with it... i.e. learn to make adjustments in life just so I could live with it. I asked "why is it happening to me, Doc? *sob, sob*" He said "it's fate. Accept it and you won't feel that bitter about it." Well, he had a very valid point there. I felt much better after talking to him.
So, I have made all the necessary arrangements to go over to see this Prof. I still feel very helpless, frustrated and depressed at times, especially on a bad day. Seriously, deep down, I know that this visit won't be a fruitful one; and that I will end up feeling helpless and stupid again.
Till then.
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